Not Aloud To Cry
by conceited
Summary: Everyone knows breakups and pain come hand in hand. But to get through it, you just have to find a way to deal with it. Trish, Dave, John, some others.
1. Just Roll With It

Not aloud to cry

_Author's Note: _Well, I'm kind of new here. I hope that if you do read this that you please review and tell me if it is any good, or if I just suck at writing. I've had this half of this story sitting around on my computer since summer, so I figured might as well do something with it. Well enjoy the story! Oh, and just so were clear, I own nothing.

_Conceited_

Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great, that it blocks out everything else which makes the rest of the world fade away. Until all we can think about is how much we hurt.

How we manage our pain is up to us. For some people they drink, some deal with it through work or a hobby, while other can simply forget about it during a steamy session that will leave them fulfilled at least for a short period of time. Pain, we deal with it, ride it out, embrace it. And for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

She panted as she rolled onto her side. She quickly wrapped the sheets around her naked flesh, as he closed his eyes and cooled off for a few seconds. Trish then gently turned over and raked her nails over his exposed chest, until he abruptly pushed her hand off and got out of bed. Leaving Trish stunned.

"Err- John what's wrong?" Trish asked unsure. John simply shook his head as he began to re-dress and slipped on his boxers from the floor.

He jumped out of bed and walked into the connecting bathroom, going out of Trish's sight. "Nothing's wrong, I just have to get going soon. I have a meeting later on with Vince and don't want to be late for this one," he shouted back to her.

Trish let out a groan. John was constantly out doing promotional events, interviews and press conferences. All this stuff starting happening non-stop once John became the wwe champion.

Of course she was happy for him, but now they rarely had anytime together and when they did get time to themselves, it was limited. This was adding more stress on the relationship, which meant more arguments.

Even though when they began dating, Trish had already been the woman's champion. So nothing was new to her when John began with all this craziness. Although Trish had her fair share of busyness, it still wasn't like John's schedule. He was busy all the time; he even had to do work while he had his time off. Sometimes even when they were together John would have a quick thirty-minute interview through the phone once a week to some radio station or web site.

They slowly started to become one of those couples that show affection, but not real kind. They would just to try and comfort each other by letting each other know, or trying to convince each other, that they were still very much in love.

Trish knew what was going on between them; they were growing apart. While, John knew all along but felt that if he didn't acknowledge it, it would just simply go away. He was wrong.

"When are you going to be coming back? Because I was kind of hoping that we could talk, I've had a lot on my mind lately." Trish wrapped the sheet around her tighter and walked out into the kitchen of the hotel suite. John was now rushing around the hotel and threw on the first jersey he could find.

"Yeah, um about that. I don't know when this meeting is going to be done, and if I do get off early I kind of already made plans with the boys tonight. Sorry babe." John replied. _In other words, I just don't want to talk about this tonight_.

By now, John was increasingly annoying Trish. It seemed to her that every time she would try and bring up there relationship, John would get some excuse, weather its he was to tired, or he was going to be out late. He had an excuse every time.

Trish poured herself a cup of coffee and sat on the nearby sofa. Once he was done throwing on a pair of beige loose-fitting shorts, he walked into the mini kitchen and got himself a bottle of water. He then looked at Trish. _God, she was beautiful, especially in the morning. _He remembered when they first got together and the first time he woke up with her.

_John laid there staring at her. She was beautiful when she was asleep; her breathing was so peaceful. The prior night was amazing. He had taken her out for dinner and they drove down to a local little pond and just talked. John had always had an interest in Trish and when she accepted John's invitation to go out, he wanted to make sure everything was perfect._

_The night couldn't have gone better, and once it was over Trish insisted that John spend the night. Even though he didn't want there first time to be in some dirty old hotel room that hundreds of people have 'slept' in. He couldn't resist when she made the offer._

_And he was glad he didn't object, because to him there experience was amazing. Sure, he had his fair share of girls in the past. But with Trish it was different, it wasn't a quick fuck, with her there was a connection that he hadn't felt before. It felt amazing being inside her and he wanted to drag the feeling out as long as he could. He knew then and there that something great could come of this. He only hoped Trish felt the same way._

_Coming back to what was happening now, Trish began to stir her head. While one of her hands landed on John's rip cage. She opened her eyes to find John staring at her._

"_Hello gorgeous," he whispered. Trish smiled and moved her hand over to John's and intertwined them._

"_Were you just watching me sleep?" she asked. John nodded his head, which caused Trish to giggle. "You know, last night was great."_

_"I feel the same way," John grinned. He released his hand from hers and placed it on her face, pulling her in for a deep kiss. He then pulled away, "I could get used to this." Trish then pulled him in for another passionate kiss._

Coming back to his senses he realized Trish was staring at him funny. He must have had some ridiculous look on his face. "Listen, I'm just going to go now so I'll talk to you later," he mumbled as he grabbed the rental car keys and proceeded to head for the door.

"I'm not going to be here when you get back," Trish announced.

"Uhm, okay well call me tomorrow then all right," he said. Trish shook her head and looked down into the coffee mug.

"No John, I mean I'm leaving, for good." John stopped and turned to face her with an unsure look upon his face.

"Wha- what are you talking about?" he stammered.

She placed the coffee mug down and looked up at John. "I'm sorry, but right now I don't feel like we are going anywhere. Lately we have been having a lot of problems and whenever I try to discuss them with you, you avoid it. Well I'm done avoiding it John." Trish got up and walked over to John and placed a hand on his face, "Right now I think we need some time apart."

She knew that this was a hard decision for her to make, but she knew it was the right one. John just stood there trying to comprehend what she had just said. _Was she breaking up with me? _He quickly shoved her hand off of him.

"What the hell are you talking about, there is nothing wrong with us! Sure, we fight some times, but all couples do that. You can't just fucking give up because of that." By now John's voice was getting louder, almost until the point were he was yelling.

"Dammit John, its just that." Trish huffed. "Your not willing to accept what is really happening. We've been drifting apart for months now. And no, this kind of fighting between us isn't like other couples. This is non-stop."

John was speechless. He didn't know what to say. He was almost positive that he still loved her; at least he thought he did. But Trish did make a valiant point that they had drifted apart and they were no longer the couple they once were. _Maybe a separation could be a good idea. I mean it's not for sure a permanent thing so I guess it could work for the better?_

Trish was trying to read John's face, but was getting nothing. He was so silent, and it was eating away at her. Her eyes began to become red and glossy and she made sure John didn't see her this way. "To make this easier for the both of us, I'll be gone by the time you get back."

John was about to say something, but was quickly interrupted by Trish. "Just don't say anything. You'd better get going before Vince gets on your ass about being late."

He couldn't do anything to stop it; she had obviously made up her mind and wasn't going to change it. So he knew that at least for now that he had to just roll with it. John locked eyes with Trish for a brief second before giving her a slight nod and walked out the door, while the same thing kept repeating through his head.

_Was it really over?_


	2. Little Reminders

_Author's Note: _Okay. Just wanted to say thanks for the reviews, I appreciate it. I apologize for not posting the chapter sooner, but I haven't had that much time to work on it. I'm going to get the next chapter done sooner hopefully, but in the next two weeks I'm going to be very busy with work so I'll only have limited time to write. And, Don't worry; the good stuff will be coming up pretty soon, so just wait for it :). So until then, I disclaim. Enjoy.

_Conceited_

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Flying, Trish hated it. Sure, it was something that she had to do regularly for work, but that doesn't mean that she disliked it any less. There was always the horrible take off and once you were up high enough there was those dreaded air bumps. Not to mention the food was usually horrible and all the people around her made her claustrophobic.

Although taking a plane was no way as long as driving, it did take a good amount of time. Which left Trish with nothing to do. And with the current situation with John, all she was thinking about was him. So she decided that she'd give a friend a call to distract her.

Trish reached in her purse and pulled out her credit card and swiped it through the phone, and preceded to call the only person she thought that could comfort her right now.

"Hey Ames, it Trish." she said.

Amy Dumas was one of Trish's best friends. She was the girl that Trish always called on when she had a problem and like wise for Amy. Although; they hadn't always been like this.

In the beginning when both Trish and Amy were fairly new to the wwe, there was a lot of animosity. Neither of the two were very fond of each other and made sure that they didn't really come in contact that much, except for a match.

But it was some time in early march when things changed. Amy was going through the whole her, Adam and Matt thing. Trish had found Amy upset in the woman's locker room. Trish knew that she had to help her out, they had gone out for coffee and for the next couple of weeks they spent a lot of time together. And by the time it was over they had made a wonderful bond.

"Hey Trish, how are you holding up?" Amy asked. Trish could tell just by the way Amy was talking, that she had probably found out about her and John. She wasn't surprised either; _news tends to travel fast in this business_.

"I could be better. So I'm assuming you heard huh?" She asked. Amy's sudden silence answered her question. "Well, I think it was for the better anyway. You saw us we aren't the same anymore. I think it will be easier this way."

Amy agreed, "I just want you to be happy, and if you and John need to separate to accomplish this, then I'm fully behind you."

"Thanks Ames, I knew you'd understand. Anyway, what is it that you are up to tonight?"

"Oh, nothing much really," she replied. Suddenly Trish heard a faint voice from the background and automatically knew who it was.

"Nothing huh. Well okay then, I'll let you go. This is probably costing me a fortune," Trish smiled. "Oh and tell Adam I said hello." Amy laughed and said her good-byes and hung up.

Trish figured the flight would at least take another hour or so, so she decided to take a quick nap.

"Excuse me, miss?" Trish woke up as she saw a woman standing over her. "Miss, the flight has landed." Trish nodded her head and thanked the flight attendant as she grabbed her purse and proceeded to get off the plane.

Once she reached home she went inside and set everything down, she walked into the living and checked her messages. There were three messages, one from her mother and two from Amy.

This house was one of the two. This was the house dubbed "The Toronto House", a nickname John came up with. She remembered when she was younger and remembered always walking by this house when she would walk home from school and promised herself that one day she would buy this house.

It wasn't anything magnificent, it was a two bedroom, two-floor house, but she always thought it was just the cutest thing.

On the outside it always had the cutest lawn ornaments in small little garden, which Trish could _not _keep alive for more than a week. But still it was a nice house to come home to after working or when she just wanted to go somewhere to relax and think.

After checking her messages, Trish went into the kitchen. And there it was, on the refrigerator door was a picture that John and Trish had taken a few months after they started dating. It was the first night of an Australian tour, and a bunch of them had decided to go to a well-known Australian club.

Victoria had snuck up on them and took a picture and gave it to Trish once she got them developed. It was Trish's favorite photo. But she knew she wasn't ready to throw it away, but at the same time she really didn't want to keep it. So she simply just placed it in the cupboard above the refrigerator.

After taking a quick shower Trish walked into her bedroom and sat on the top of the bed as she brushed threw her wet hair. Not before noticing a certain something lying on the end of her nightstand table. It was John's Boston Red Sox hat.

_He must have left it here last time he was up_. She walked over to it and picked it up. As she traced the B embroidery with her finger, she brought it close to her face. It still carried the scent of John.

God, did John ever love that hat. He wore it a lot, and it wasn't like him not to have it. But then it came back to her why it was still there.

_"Babe, I really think that we should get going soon. The plane leaves at 2:30 pm and it's already12 o'clock and you're not even out of bed yet," Trish complained._

_He let out a groan as his face was still planted into pillow. Trish huffed and put her hairbrush down, why does he always have to be so stubborn? She wondered. _

_She jumped onto the bed and threw her arm over John's back. "C'mon babe, I mean it, we really have to get ready- or should I say you really have to get ready." John lifted his head, his eyes still had sleep in them, and squinted his eyes at Trish._

_"It doesn't take two hours to get to the airport. Just give me a few more minutes," he groaned. Trish shook her head; John turned himself over so that he was now on his back. Trish began to run her fingertips over his chest and down to his abdomen. Once she traced over his abs, her digits continued to roam down his body further, stopping at the hem of his boxers._

_She looked up at John; his eyes were practically pleaded for her to continue. Her fingers slowly began to slip just under the hem, but she quickly and abruptly pulled away. Leaving John stunned. "Like I said, we really go to go," Trish smiled and began to walk out into the hall room, but not before John spun her around to face him. _

_He was still sitting on the bed and his face met straight on with her stomach. He looked up at her and winked. He then lifted her shirt up, just high enough so that some of her toned flesh was showing. He began to plant small kisses onto her stomach, causing her to let out a slight moan._

_"I think- that, uhm," she tried to say in between breathes as John began to slowly unbutton her jeans. She was having some trouble finishing her sentence when John interrupted her._

_"I think that we could catch the next flight, don't you agree?" Trish nodded her head and pulled John's face up to hers as her lips crashed into his. _

They ended up spending a little more time in Trish's bedroom that day than they had expected, by the time they realized what time it was, they only had 30 minutes to get to the airport and on the plane. _He must have forgot it while he was rushing to get dressed._

Trish stood up and carried the hat with her. She reached into her duffel bag and placed the hat inside. _I'll have to give it to him next time I see him_.

It was 12:30 and Trish laid in bed and couldn't sleep, she decided she would go downstairs to get a snack. As she was picking around through her fridge, her phone began to ring, startling her. She walked over to it and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey," a familiar voice replied.


End file.
